Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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