well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
