That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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