We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
