hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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