I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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