I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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