I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
