I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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