just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
