all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
