so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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