Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Randomize
