Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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