Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
