In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
