he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Randomize