I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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