You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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