Got a toothbrush?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize