There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
