I just made out with a guy for $7.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
