how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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