Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
