I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
