I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
