I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She needs sedatives and a leash
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
