There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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