I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
