we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
