Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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