The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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