What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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