Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
