omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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