plz talk dirty to me
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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