I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
