What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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