What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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