You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I don't think brook has ever known best
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
