it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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