Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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