Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
