you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
