I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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