My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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