Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
