Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
