Don't you send me to vm
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Panties = found
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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