That's intense
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
