my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
