Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
