It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
