i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
