I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize