Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
