I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
