Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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