Sorry, I don't speak sober.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize