did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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