I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
