the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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