oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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